Heart of the City Archives
06/04/02
That's Life in the Little City
by Hank Donat

Falling asleep amid the music of foghorns resonant with mystery and of San Francisco's past as a great port city is a pleasure matched only by waking here. A cacophony of doves, parrots, and garbage trucks foreshadows a day in the life of a little city with a multitude of personalities...

In the Richmond at the 4Star Theatre with her movie "Elvira's Haunted Hills," Cassandra Peterson, aka Elvira Mistress of the Dark, signed photos and posters, plus arms and other appendages, for breathless fans. The audience resembled a Star Trek convention - if the Osbournes are Trekkers. I found myself standing among a pack of characters including Peterson, Cheech Marin, KTVU-TV's Mark Pitta, adult film star Jim Bentley, and Nob Hill tour guide Kitty Burns who came in character as vampire Mina Harker. The affair was decidedly kooky, typically San Franciscan, and all to support Stop AIDS Project and Out & Equal Workplace Advocates. 

Peterson and husband Mark Pierson bunked with Cheech while they were in town. Peterson was in "Cheech and Chong's Next Movie" in 1980, so they go way back. For advice on marketing "Haunted Hills," a slapstick comedy filmed in Romania, Pierson consulted one of San Francisco's ultimate local girls who made good, Margaret Cho. "I'm the One that I Want," Cho's 2000 concert film shot at the Fillmore Auditorium, is one of only a handful of independent releases in decades to earn more than a million dollars with fewer than ten prints in circulation. After picking Cho's brain, Pierson and Peterson are touring the country with benefit screenings. Pierson also tells me Cheech is giving up his rented Sea Cliff digs and moving on following his "Nash Bridges" period...

Signs of the times: In Chinatown, a market on Stockton Street near Washington offers Bay Area Seafood Product and Never Ending Quail. Both sound more appetizing in Chinese. In the Marina, an old sign in the window of Burton's Pharmacy offers aids for daily living, an idea that induces double-takes since the sign is printed in all capital letters...

Fox News star Claudia Cowan was in town for the Tails of the City auction at the Regency Ballroom which netted $100,000 for the Destination Foundation. Cowan entertained a group of locals including Chris Morano and James Jarrett with stories about her parents, actress Barbara Rush and public relations giant George Cowan. One tale had Tony Curtis and George in a limosine when Curtis leaped out of the car and snatched what he thought was his diamond cuff link from the hands of a man on the street where Curtis had just lost the gem in a crush of fans. The bejeweled cufflinks were a gift from Curtis' then-wife Janet Leigh. After the confrontation, Curtis found himself holding only a lemon LifeSaver. The hapless bystander scratched his head as Curtis and company burned rubber...

On Russian Hill, nothing compares with cappuccino in the garden of a friend at sunset. The back stairways of neighboring buildings surround these inner gardens in Escher-like fashion, criss crossing every which way. Just don't cross neighbor Terilyn Joe unless you like being pelted with pomodoro. Terilyn needs a proverbial chill pill. What's the worst thing that could have happened when workmen woke her at the crack of noon last week? If she appeared on KNTV with bed head no one would have noticed...

Supervisor Tony Hall in the Mission to address a community group about his H.O.P.E condo conversion legislation and running late for his next gig told those assembled, "I don't want to bore you with the details." Don'tcha know the devil's in the details?...

In the Castro it seemed a little unfair at first blush when the gay softball team San Francisco Aftershock set up its Krispy Kreme donut concession next to Girl Scout Troop 887's cookie table at the plum location known as Hibernia Beach at 18th and Castro Streets. However, the scouts assured me there was plenty of traffic for everyone. 

The Aftershock is raising money to compete in the Gay Games in Sydney later this year. The team is a generous contributor to the Breast Cancer Society and the AIDS Emergency Fund. Visit the San Francisco Aftershock online at www.sfaftershock.org.

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Copyright 2002 Hank Donat
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